


Follow Me

by FoxNote



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Emotional Rambling, M/M, Not Beta Read, confession of love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-02-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 18:02:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3420320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxNote/pseuds/FoxNote
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi was never one to express his feelings, not even to those closest to him. Yet he had a stash of notebooks filled with his thoughts. What happens when Eren's curiosity gets the better of him and he finds something revealing the true mind of the World's Strongest?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Follow Me

Eren had not meant to be going through the Captain’s desk. It just so happened that he was meant to be cleaning and one of the drawers was slightly open and there was a notebook peeking out and… no he had been snooping and his Captain was going to kill him. Yet he could not stop himself. He snatched the book from the desk and slid in the alcove, pulling the chair to hide himself for even a few extra moments.

The boy’s hands shook. This was the Captain’s notebook, the things that could be written in it were endless. Levi and he had been in a quiet and not quite official relationship for some time but Eren realized more and more that he knew nothing about his partner and leader. Surely he would be punished but it would be worth it to know just a little of what the elder man was thinking. 

As he flipped through the first pages he thanked Armin for the reading classes he had given. The handwriting was scrawling and sloppy but so was Eren’s. It was simple enough wording that he understood.

Most of the entries were just ramblings about practice and different maneuvers they needed to try in the next training session. Nothing all that interesting. Some of the others were dark and angry on the page, ranting about the Commander and Titans and Hanji – mostly Hanji. By the halfway point Eren was disheartened. Every part of him had been yearning for something that would give him an insight into the Captain’s personality but there was nothing here – nothing he did not already know that is. 

Then, just as he made to close the book, he noticed a slip of paper peeking out the bottom. Flipping through he found a sealed letter marked for simply _Eren_. His heart fluttered. What could the man have possibly written for him that he would have had to hide in this book? Was it a confession? A gushy love letter? Or was it… no, the Captain loved him… right?

Unable to wait any longer he tore open the envelope.

>   
> _Dear Eren,_
> 
> _I had a feeling you might find this before I have the chance to give it to you myself, you little brat, so I want you to know that I won’t be angry. You finding it actually makes this a little easier for me. I’m not one for showing sentiment as you are well aware but I feel you deserve some measure of discloser about my state of mind._
> 
> _I love you Eren._

The boy’s whole body tingled and heated at the words written on the page.

>   
> _I may never say it to you but I will make an effort to try and convey it to the best of my abilities. And this is why I want to tell you something that only one other person knows about me._
> 
> _I’m lost Eren. There was a time when I believed that I had at least most of myself figured out. I knew what I wanted to do, how I was supposed to do it and why it was needed. But know I don’t know. I’ve been fighting the Titans for so long, watching so many soldiers die that I just don’t know if I can keep doing this anymore._
> 
> _I thought I knew who I was, who I needed to be but now it a jumbled fuck of insanity. I’m not the man the world thinks I am. I’m not the man you deserve. I’m not the man I want to be. And I’m certainly not the man that everyone needs._
> 
> _I don’t know who I am anymore._
> 
> _The only thing I know is that you are the most important thing to me and I don’t want anything to happen to you. If you died I would have nothing left to live for._
> 
> _Eren--_

The chair in front of Eren was yanked away. The boy looked up into a face too blurred for him to recognize at first. Yet the gentle touch that came next was all he needed. Soon tight arms were wrapped around him as he sobbed; clinging to the man he loved more than anything. Nothing was said between them for a long time. 

Only as the boy calmed did they moved to sit in the chair and cuddle comfortably. The captain whispered sweet nothings to the brat as he wiped his tears. Eren sniffled and turned to finally focus on Levi’s face. 

“Heichou… Levi… you really mean all that?” The man nodded. “Levi… I love you…” The man placed his cheek against the taller boy’s chest. “I think you’re an amazing man Heichou… You’ve done so much and you keep going…”

“But I don’t want to keep going Eren… I’ve reached my limit… I can’t do it anymore.” 

The whispered confession tore the young man’s heart asunder. Those words from that man seemed blasphemous. Yet he knew that they were sincere. This man had been through so much and everyone had their limit. There was only so much one person could take. So, Eren took a deep breath and hugged the man to his chest. 

“Heichou… I’ll follow you, wherever you choose to go…” Heat dripped onto his tunic but he said nothing more as Levi silently fell apart in his arms. 

>   
> _Eren, you’re the only one I trust to keep me together so please, can you promise me something. Stay by my side, no matter what._   
> 

**Author's Note:**

> Emotional Ramblings... Expressing emotions by making a character suffer them is satisfying in many ways.


End file.
